Keep Your CONCERN to Yourself
- POSTED ON: Aug 27, 2015

Voicing your
pseudo-concern about the bodies of others.

This is not a Tree.

I am not a Kitten.

Put Your
Ladder Away.

Keep Your Concern to Yourself

             by Ragen Chastain of Dances With Fat

Reader Sara told me about some food-shaming dishes.  Some of the plates are:

1.  “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this."

2.  "Did you really need that second helping?."

3.  "Please stop eating, we’re worried about you."

4.  "For the love of God, stop eating.”

Let’s start with my answers in order:

1.  "See ya."

2.  "No, but at this point if I stop eating with this fork I’m going to stab you with it; so bring on a third helping, or get some gauze for compression."

3.  "I can’t stop you from worrying, but I can stop you from talking to me about it." 

4.  "For the love of God, mind your own business."


We’ve already talked about the total bullshit that is the “Do you need to eat that” question. But of course it goes beyond that.

I’ve heard people suggest that it’s their moral obligation to tell fat people that we “need to lose weight”, exercise more, or that if someone sees a fat child they need to say something to the caregiver. I’ve been part of any number of conversations where people who had no business or permission to talk to me about my weight did so. 

I asked some friends on Facebook who had spoken to them about their weight inappropriate.  The answers included:

Venus Cattrap
- POSTED ON: Aug 20, 2015


Kitten Copies Mama Cat
- POSTED ON: Aug 19, 2015

See Video Below






- POSTED ON: Aug 11, 2015


About Giving Advice to Fat People
- POSTED ON: Jul 28, 2015

For the past ten years I’ve been starving my body in order to maintain my body at a normal wight, but most of my lifetime I’ve been quite fat, so I know a lot about the experience of being fat.

Guessing why fat people are fat is a cultural favorite pastime.  Fat people have to deal with people guessing why they are fat.  We are told to “eat less and exercise more” by people who can’t possible know how much we eat or how much we exercise.  We’re told that no matter what we’re doing - our bodies make it completely obvious that we must not be doing it right.  We  are not doing enough cardio, we are doing too much cardio, resistance training is a must.  We need to cut down on this food or eat more of that food or use this or that new supplement etc.

People are a lot of different sizes for a lot for different reasons. After over 50 years of intense study there is not a single intervention that has been shown to lead to long term weight loss. There is no study that shows that such weight loss would lead to greater health.    

It’s bad enough when people use their limited time on Earth to make random guesses about why fat people are fat, but it’s worse when it comes to “well-meaning”, “concerned” people who think that such “information” constitutes some kind of evidence-based health intervention, and that “evidence based health interventions” are acceptable.

First, they need to take note of the fact that the way that you can identify an evidence-based health intervention is that it is based on evidence, and has something to do with health.  It is not based on somebody’s random guess about why people’s bodies are a certain size and how that size might be manipulated.

Then they need to Butt out.  Giving unsolicited comments or advice to fat people about their bodies is Ignorant, Unkind, and Rude!

So.... potential helpful persons, repeat after me:

"Not My Body, Not My Business"


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