- POSTED ON: May 03, 2015


I’ve been researching the Three Principles concept and how it might be useful to me in my struggles with food and weight. This has led me to reflect on the issue of beliefs… the beliefs that we all carry around with us.

A belief is just an idea that, for various reasons, we have picked up and entertained. Basically, we’ve picked up a thought and repeated it inside our heads so many times that we come to believe it is true. When people hear or see something a great many times, they often mistakenly consider it to be Truth.

We are often totally unaware of many of the beliefs we carry around, and even when we see how they limit us, we are not inclined to let them go.

If we feel really threatened we can think some seriously stupid things in order to defend our Beliefs. Like: “I’d rather be dead than be fat”.  Even if we don’t mean it literally (although some people do), and that statement merely resonates within us, there’s no mistaking the fact that a Core Belief is inside us, which is a belief we are willing to fight for.

We tend to protect our beliefs because even when we know they limit us, they give us a feeling of safety. Sometimes we don’t care how strange we might act, or how miserable we make ourselves, just as long as we feel safe.

We have blind spots about many of our beliefs. Deep down inside we might know they’re there, but at best, we only can get a sense of them. They hide in the shadows of our minds, creating confusion with whispering voices. While not all beliefs cause discomfort, it could be useful to be able to see the ones that do.

Recently, I heard a Three Principles person say:

…That the first step to freedom from our limiting and unwanted beliefs is to see them; that when they become clear to us, it is easy to determine which ones we might wish to keep, and which ones we want to get rid of.

…That once we see the true nature of such a belief, it goes away all by itself,…. because it is merely an idea, made of thought. And because beliefs=thoughts have no life of their own they hold no power over us once we decide to let them go. It is like having unwanted guests in your home, like thoughts, the best way to get them out of your home is to stop entertaining them. A thought cannot think itself.

When unwanted guests leave your home it’s a big relief. Your home gets more quiet, you have more space. Life is also better without the burden of thoughts which are unwanted guests in our minds.

Things You Don’t Owe Anybody
- POSTED ON: Apr 23, 2015




Great Truths
in the
Article Below





Things You Don’t Owe Anybody
                   by Ragen Chastain, of Dances With Fat.

When it comes to a lot of areas of our lives we get to choose what we do and why, and who – if anyone – we do it for.  Sometimes people get confused and think that we owe them behaviors, states of being, or explanations.  Let’s just clear some of this up:

Pretty – Nobody owes anybody else attractive by any standard.  People who get upset that there are others walking around who are not aesthetically pleasing to them have an over-exaggerated sense of self importance.  Don’t like what you see?  Too lazy to expand your skills for perceiving beauty?  Then feel free to follow the advice of the band Chicago and look away, baby, look away.

Health – Nobody owes anybody else health or healthy habits by any definition. Each person gets to decide how to prioritize their health, and the path they choose to meet their goals.  That’s why people are allowed to be professional bullriders and X games athletes, and NFL Players. The suggestion that fat people have some obligation over and above what everyone else has (which is none) is thinly veiled bigotry and nothing more.  I think that public health should be focused on making as many options as possible available to as many people as possible rather than trying to make the individual’s choices and health the public’s business.

Sexiness – One of the more ridiculous types of hate mail that I receive are e-mails letting me know that the sender would never have sex with me.  These are always phrased in a way that suggests they are under the impression that I care.  I don’t understand why they would think that – that’s the kind of thing that they can really keep to themselves.  Regardless it’s not our job to comport ourselves in such a way that other people will want to have sex with us.

Food Rationale –  Food talk is a cultural phenomenon that I could very much live without.  I would be perfectly happy if I went the rest of my life without hearing “I want a muffin but I can’t because I’m being good” or “I’m going to have to do 3 hours on the treadmill to make up for eating these grapes” or whatever “Will Perform For Food” thing society wants from us.  Sometimes I try to imagine if we made all of our personal decisions out loud “Hmmm, I kind of have to pee, but not that badly so maybe I’ll finish this blog, or maybe I should go now and finish it with full concentration….” Who cares? Regardless, we don’t owe anybody an explanation of what we eat or don’t eat ever.


- POSTED ON: Sep 27, 2014

Perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

Our Culture has an obsession with diets. Historically, diets were for health reasons, rather than for weight and appearance.
Now diets are mainly concerned with weight reduction, significantly referred to as "slimming," the slim figure rather than the healthy body being the aim ... despite the many, many Pious claims to the contrary.

Diets are a major part of the food-fashion industry. I often say that every diet works for someone, but no diet works for everyone.  The truth is that no diet actually works very well for very long. If any one did, then there wouldn’t be so many and we wouldn’t be faced with a weekly announcement about a new, different, and infallible one.

Diets come in quick succession.  The business of how not to eat too much food has paradoxically turned into one of the biggest food industries. It has become the science of what to eat and not gain weight - more or less impossible with any reasonable calorific regime.

Studies have shown that diets more often than not lead to weight gain. Because the body does not know the difference between dieting and starving, once a severe dietary regime is concluded it will voraciously store food as fat as a protection against further unreasonable onslaughts. But it is with diets that fashion and fads play their largest part. Diets have replaced the weather as the basic item of polite conversation.

This is all part of Western society. The search for the perfect life embraces the search for the perfect food, which can easily tip over into fanaticism.  Only Organic whole foods, Only Non-processed foods,  Only “Real” Foods, only “Healthy” foods, No-carb, Low-carb, Paleo, Low-fat, Low-calories, Very-Low-Calories, Eat moderately, Eat on alternative days, Eat only at certain times of the day, Eat very little, mostly plants, Eat vegetables only, Eat proteins only,  Eat very small amounts of everything, Fast intermittently, Eat only a few bites, OR the "ultimate" temporary solution, go on a total water Fast ...meaning.. go without eating food entirely until your body has eaten up all of it’s own excess fat.

In the pursuit of perfection, to be on a diet illustrates that you are a worthy and serious person, not a slob. It is the Puritan Ethic applied to food.  Obesity has become for our present age what adultery was for our Victorian forebears. The real modern descent into sin and wickedness is a dieter who goes on a junk food binge. And hunting down offenders against food purity joins the list of popular witch hunts along with smokers, polluters, and people who use sexist pronouns.

The current Diet Culture includes Diets … i.e. ways of eating… that are labeled as “non-diets”.  Most of these are some variation of the “Intuitive Eating” concept which includes a philosophy that the Body knows what and how much food it needs, and if one pays close attention to whether one is hungry, or full, and eats accordingly, one’s Body will arrive and stay at it’s own natural weight.   The problem with this is that the Bodies of fat people (and previously fat people) want to be Fat. Being Fat IS the natural weight of fa...

Thin for the Holidays?
- POSTED ON: Sep 19, 2014




We’ve all seen those advertisements from companies trying to make money by telling us that 'the holidays’ are coming, and we are somehow too fat for them. .. Like: 

"the holidays are just around the corner,
will you have a body you can be proud of?”

which is, of course, an attempt to make us feel insecure and then profit by playing on those insecurities.

I agree with Ragen Chastain, of danceswithfat, who says:


“..now I'm supposed to worry that I'll embarrass myself just by existing in a body that hasn't been manipulated to some size I can be "proud of" which, based on the picture that accompanied the message, would require me to lose about 150 pounds and grow 6 inches in the next two months.

If they were honest their ad copy would have read "The holidays are coming so it would be great if you would hate your body and make a desperate bid to change it that won't work but will make us a boatload of money so that our last quarter numbers look good."

Since I was a kid I've seen what now seem like unending permutations of the message "you're too fat" delivered to me by those who hope to profit from my believing it. "The holidays are coming and you're too fat. It's New Years and you're too fat.  Bikini season is coming and you're too fat."

Screw that.

We may not be able to stop the diet companies from trying to ruin the next three months ...(and the month after that with their New Year's Resolution, and the months after that with whatever they try to use to create a giant chasm between us and loving ourselves)... but we can decide that they aren't going to succeed. 

I recommend a secret little mantra that I've created that I say whenever I see diet industry ads.  My mantra is "HEY, THAT'S BULLSHIT!"  Works like a charm to remind me not to buy into any of this.

The holidays are coming and I'm just fine.  New Year's is coming and I'm just fine.  Bikini season is coming and I'm just fine.  This diet industry that spends so much time and money oppressing me with a product that doesn't do anything successfully except make them money, runs on our time, our money, and our energy.  We take the fuel away and the machine stops.  It happens as one person at a time changes the channel, throws out the post...

Is it REALLY up to me?
- POSTED ON: Aug 28, 2014


Sometimes I simply shake my head in wonder at the falsity of diet and fitness marketing.

This picture is a prime example of it.

First, it clearly indicates that body size and body appearance are totally under one’s own control. 

“If you are a fat person
then all you have to do is
eat less, move more,
buy this,
do this and don’t do that
and you will get “healthy”
and look like THIS.”

Most women as large as the woman at the back of the picture would love to believe that these claims are true, and some seem determined to to live in Denial, even though many of them KNOW in their minds that those claims are Lies.

Note, that the desired body is a firm, young body. Next, a body that has  been really fat is never going to have an appearance like the body of the woman at the front of the picture. 

People also have different genetic body types that determine where fat deposits itself on their bodies. There’s no such thing as “spot reduction”, and we don't get to choose which fat goes and which fat stays.  The fact is that even after a successful large weight-loss there’s a lot of loose skin to deal with, and it is unlikely that any “reduced fat” person ... of any age ....will ever achieve that kind of voluptuous, tight-skinned body even with plastic surgery and 6 to 7 days a week of heavy-duty exercise.

Also, the statement isn’t based on ANY kind of evidence.  First the entire “lose weight to be healthy” idea is based upon an untested hypothesis.  So few people have achieved significant long term weight loss that there simply aren’t enough to commission a statistically significant study.

Those who put forth weight loss as a health intervention can’t produce a study where more than a tiny fraction of participants ever lost weight long-term, and even then, most of the few “successes” they point to, lost only a tiny amount of weight. Weight Watchers claims success because their average study participant maintained a 5 pound loss over 2 years.

People attempt to use Fat bodies as “evidence”.  Marketing, which includes the medical profession,  tries to claim that our bodies are evidence of unhealthy behaviors, lack of willpower, lack of self-care and any other appearance-based stereotypes they enjoy believing and perpetuating  Then they claim that this evidence is compelling enough to make it okay  to target fat people for for shame, stigma, bullying and humiliation because it's “for our own good”.

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