I tend to ..(not so secretly).. be self-absorbed.

Today is Friday of Memorial Day Weekend.
When I hear the term “Memorial Day Weekend”,
My first thought is the sight, smell, and taste of food at a backyard BBQ.
Next I think of the fact that Summer is beginning,
and then about past or future camping trips to the mountains
or the beach and other vacations.

 Later I think of putting flowers at the grave sites of departed family members,
and about the TV war movies my husband is going to have on for three days.

These mental pictures contain both positives and negatives.
They can lead me to the pleasant or to the unpleasant.
To feelings of Hope and Joy, or of Loss and Sadness.

I can’t keep my mind from touching on unpleasant past or future events,
but I do have the ability to consciously change my mental focus
 by directing my mind toward the more pleasant memories or current events.

Just like with all worthwhile things, learning this skill takes consistent effort,
but when my Thoughts change….so do my Feelings…and my Behavior.
I find it impossible to directly change my feelings,
…and directly changing my behavior…without first changing my thoughts…
is equally impossible for me.

So, for me, all positive change in my life begins
with me working toward positive thoughts.

My number one positive Thought is this......

Even with all of my flaws,
I am an acceptable human being,
and it is Okay to be me.

Seeing a beautiful object or person fulfills the senses.
That is beauty on the outside.

It is a pleasant experience when the senses are stimulated.
But what is the essence of this pleasure, and how long lasting?

What if the beautiful person one sees is heartless and insensitive?
What if they lack character or dignity?
Would that outer beauty suffice?
Looking at a beautiful person merely gives pleasure.

There is also a beauty that is magnetic and uplifts the soul.
such as when one sees the inner beauty of a person.
Beauty is one of the utmost quests of Humanity.
Many people are under the notion that this quest has to do with appearances.
 One sees a shapely woman with flawless skin and impeccable features.
And they think that’s what it’s all about.
But substantial beauty is often intangible.
It is beauty of the character, of the heart and of the soul.

It is easy to sometimes get impatient,
and be only attracted to something that is immediately seen.
To seek only the Material, something that can be grasped or touched.
But what is Material is temporal and passing.
And that which is invisible to the eyes is more lasting.

                
Stress management is a necessary skill for everyone.

Learning to identify problems and implement solutions
is the key to successful stress reduction. 

The first step in successful stress relief
is deciding to make a change in how we manage stress.

The next step is identifying our stress triggers.
Some causes of stress are obvious —
job pressures, relationship problems or financial difficulties.
But daily hassles and demands can also contribute to our stress level.
Even positive events can be stressful.
Once we've identified our stress triggers,
we can start thinking about strategies for dealing with them.
Sometimes the solution may be as easy as turning off the TV
when the evening news is too distressing.
Or, when we can't avoid a stressful situation,
we can try brainstorming ways to reduce the irritation factor.

We don't feel have to figure it out all on our own. 
We can seek help and support from family and friends.
We can ask them what stress-relief techniques have worked well for them.
And many people benefit from daily practice of stress reduction techniques,
such as mindfulness, tai chi, yoga, meditation or being in nature.
Stress won't disappear from our lives.
And stress management isn't an overnight cure.
But with practice, we can learn to manage our stress levels
and increase our ability to cope with life's challenges.

Forgiving ourselves isn’t about forgetting.
It’s about not bringing the offense up to ourselves in negative ways.
Forgiving ourselves is simply letting go
of what we are holding against ourselves
so that we can move on.
It’s important to learn from mistakes.
What good are mistakes if we don’t learn from them?
They are bound to come up again if we don’t correct the problem the first time.
There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around
and we may not even realize that it is a problem,
but if it comes around over and over again
we should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere.
Learning and growing is a never-ending process,
so we need to get a clue as soon as possible and save ourselves a lot of aggravation. 

Even though we make mistakes,
It’s important not be too hard on ourselves.
Being human means that we won’t be perfect
….so accept it and move on.
This will make us happier and give our self-esteem a positive break.

  We need to forgive ourselves.
It is okay to ask God and/or others to forgive us,
but it is also important that we forgive ourselves.
Forgiving ourselves gives us freedom from guilt and pain
and it helps us move on with life in a positive way.
Each of us can be our own worst enemy so we need to forgive ourselves
and choose to be happy with our decisions and the rest of our lives.

Each of us needs to follow our own path.
There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself.
Following someone else’s path for our lives can lead us
down a long road full of sorrows.

  I pray for guidance in finding my own path
and believe that my Higher Power is directing me.
When we find ourselves taking a detour,
we need to have the courage to stop, turn around,
and get back on our own true path.

Forgiving ourselves doesn’t let us off the hook,
it doesn’t justify what we have done,
and it isn’t a sign of weakness.
Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength,
and it gives us the opportunity to become an overcomer
rather than remaining a victim of our own scorn.

At present I have a broken wrist
which causes the temporary loss of activities that I enjoy.

My injury is healing, which makes my situation temporary,
but all of us experience losses that are permanent.

Some of them are enormous losses, others are small.
People move away or die; relationships and jobs change;
children age, time passes and our own bodies begin wearing out;
favorite stores close; even favorite TV shows are canceled.

When we recognize we have lost something that was valuable to us,
and that it is gone forever, we feel sad.

When we can turn our thoughts to the future
and leave the past behind, 
we have accepted the loss and can get on with our lives.

Hope is the belief that things will get better.
Hope is the antidote to despair.

A positive way of looking at the losses in our lives
is that the loss helps us see more clearly the value of what we have lost.

When we suffer a loss, what remains after the loss
is the essence of that which we have lost.

If we have lost a person through death,
we have lost only the physical sense of that person.
What we will always have within us is the essence of that person.

Or if we have lost something that seems like a part of ourselves,
such as a job or a relationship, or a place etc.,
what remains within us
are all the experiences and memories that we gained
through that work, that relationship, or that location itself.