We spend so much time waiting to be loved,
hoping love will find us,
searching, yearning for that special love.

Feeling empty and lost without it.
Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up.
But, that’s not usually how life works.

Loving ourselves is the only dependable way
to create love in each of our own lives.

When we expect love from an external source,
and someone or something does not fulfill our void and fantasies,
then we will feel worse than before.

Each of us is perfect as we are right this minute,
even though we often don’t believe it.

It is also good to create more self-respect
which will help us to love ourselves.
Here are some behavior goals to help accomplish that.

Treat others with love and respect.

Be kind to others, even the “undeserving”.

Express yourself in a loving and nonthreatening way.

Let go of past events—you deserve a fresh beginning.

Forgive yourself – don’t punish yourself for your past behavior.

Focus your mind on positive statements.
DietHobby has a tool that can help you do this.
It is located under RESOURCES, Words of Wisdom Playlist.
Click the link, and at the top of the page, click "Play All",
which will cause each of the short videos to run back-to-back
so you can spend 5 or 10 minutes focused on positive statements.

Write down your experiences and feelings.
Allow yourself to feel good feelings and
when you remember bad experiences,
allow yourself to feel compassion for yourself.
Be willing to be present and accept your own pain and regret.
We can’t expect others to be validating,
and so we need to learn how to validate ourselves.

Work to look past “material” objects and feelings.
We all want nice things and someone to share our life with.
What do you really crave? Figuring out what you really want
will help you get to know yourself better.

Be persistent –work steadily at loving and accepting yourself,
just as you are right now.

Focus on what you HAVE accomplished,
rather than what you haven’t.

Hug the real you.

Be yourself, who you really are, express yourself, laugh, play sing,
and don’t be afraid of what others think. Most of them feel the same way
and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it too.

Trust yourself—Learn to trust who you really are,
rather than blindly following the suggestions of other people.

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Sometimes the emotion I feel is “frustration”,
and this includes a bit of anger
when I’ve been working hard toward my goals
but it just isn’t working.

All of us have times when we seem to be stuck,
and no matter how hard we try,
we don’t seem be be able to get anywhere.
Just spinning our wheels in the mud
can cause us to feel pure frustration.

Even though it feels like nothing is working,
when I look closely,  
I usually find at least something is going right.
This takes me out of the negative mindset of “it’s hopeless”
and gets me back to focusing on the positive.

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in a problem
and in trying to solve it that we forget
what we were originally trying to accomplish.
This is true for me regarding my current seeming inability to lose more weight,
after all, my goal is maintenance of my large weight-loss,
and I’m doing quite well at that.

 We always have options.

When we are really frustrated with a problem,
we tend not to want to work on it anymore.
It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and we’re not getting anywhere.
So we would rather just avoid it.
But, like Thomas Edison said,
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.”

When we get stuck on focusing on what we don’t want to happen,
or afraid of the absolute worst thing that could happen,
it’s good to copy those atheletes who imagine themselves
competing flawlessly over and over again.
We can choose to see ourselves achieving what we want.
Visualize it and really feel it to inspire ourselves to keep moving forwards.

 Often things aren’t as bad as they look at first.
Sometimes they seem much worse just because we’re tired or mentally drained.
Taking a break and remembering to keep a sense of humor can help.
The time of frustration will pass, and a positive mind
is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one
that keeps thinking that it’s “hopeless” and “what’s the use?”
A closed mind won’t be able to see the possible solutions
when they do come along, so it’s important to stay positive.

With weight problems, just like with all other problems,
the solution is to figure out what your options are;
decide on a plan; focus; and then take action.

  Will my body lose back down to my lowest point in maintenance?
I don’t know, but I do know that while trying to do that,
I’ve not gained additional weight,
and that is a total plus.

I like the following quote:

“What good is any feeling we may have about ourselves,
if it only lasts as long as others agree to it?

Seeking and receiving approval from others
is like sitting down hungry to an imaginary meal.
You’re invited to eat all you want,
but no matter how much imaginary food is served,
you can never get your fill. Your hunger remains.

No fictional feast ever satisfies.
But we still look to others for our sense of self even though
the very moment it’s received, it must be renewed.

No one can give us that which can only be found with our Self.
No one can give us the approval we seek,
because it isn’t his or hers to give.

And the more we understand the truth of this higher fact,
the less inclined we’ll be to give ourselves away.
We must do the needed inner work,
which alone leads to owning our own lives.”

by Guy Finley at www belifnet.com

I will be off-line during this Holiday weekend.

Those of you who would like immediate inspiration
can find it here in the Archives, which holds
seven months of daily posts.

Or you could take this time
to review the rest of this site.

For those who are following my “Ask Grandma” videos
click to see my latest one: “Kpop Music? Still like that old time Rock 'n Roll”
which is located in DietHobby under RESOURCES, Videos, Ask Grandma.

All of us have people, places and things that we hold dear,
but a value is a belief or a philosophy that is meaningful.
Whether we are consciously aware of them or not, 
every person has a core set of personal values.

Values can range from the commonplace, such as the belief in hard work
and/or punctuality, to those that are more psychological, such as self-reliance,
concern for others, and harmony of purpose.

What do you value most? What are the guides for how you behave,
or are components for you of a valued way of life?

These issues are important when considering one's goals
for weight-loss and for maintenance.  How important is this to you....truly.
Is what it takes for you to lose and maintain a normal weight 
... the effort of lower-calorie food intake, and exercise... 
worth the trade-off for you, personally?

  If it isn't, then don't do it.