Inconveniences - POSTED ON: May 19, 2011
Life sometimes has problems. How I look at those difficulties, and what I tell myself about them, and how I choose to deal with them, makes a great deal of difference in my mood and in the quality of my life.
For the past four weeks I have been recovering from two broken bones that connect my arm to my wrist. Because I am over 60 years old, recovery might be a bit slow. So patience is necessary.
My arm hurts, and I am unable to tolerate pain medication. There are a great many things that are difficult to do with one hand, and many more things that are impossible. Therefore my normal activities are greatly restricted.
For example, yesterday morning I decided I wanted to cook dinner. I chose my easy recipe for Mild Chili Beans which is posted here at DietHobby under RECIPES, Mealtime.
It takes at least twice as much effort to do everything. I got hamburger meat from the freezer, a can of tomatoes, a can of kidney beans, and seasoning mix from the pantry.
When I got out the raw onion, it then occurred to me that I would be unable to peel, slice, and chop it. Then I realized that I also couldn’t open the cans, or access the pot that I use to cook this recipe.
These inconveniences were relatively minor and merely temporary, but they interfered with my immediate plans, and I’m not fond of that. I felt the emotions that are common to us all in such situations. So what to do?
I could give in to those negative emotions …and wallow in them for awhile…, or I could choose to deliberately focus my mind on the positives of my life that still exist in my current situation in a purposeful attempt to give myself a better day. I have learned from my own experience that this choice is what determines the quality of my life.
I began calling to mind all of the things I have to feel grateful for, and all of the things that I can still immediately do. This did make me feel better, and soon a solution presented itself to me. I decided to ask my husband to cut up the onion, to open the cans, and to get out the pan. He did those things for me when he got home from work, and I was able to cook dinner.
This is a small example of a big principle, and I’ve found that it applies to every situation in my life.
Forgiveness - POSTED ON: May 17, 2011
Forgiving ourselves isn’t about forgetting. It’s about not bringing the offense up to ourselves in negative ways. Forgiving ourselves is simply letting go of what we are holding against ourselves so that we can move on. It’s important to learn from mistakes. What good are mistakes if we don’t learn from them? They are bound to come up again if we don’t correct the problem the first time. There are some things that are hard to grasp the first time around and we may not even realize that it is a problem, but if it comes around over and over again we should recognize that something is probably wrong somewhere. Learning and growing is a never-ending process, so we need to get a clue as soon as possible and save ourselves a lot of aggravation.
Even though we make mistakes, It’s important not be too hard on ourselves. Being human means that we won’t be perfect ….so accept it and move on. This will make us happier and give our self-esteem a positive break.
We need to forgive ourselves. It is okay to ask God and/or others to forgive us, but it is also important that we forgive ourselves. Forgiving ourselves gives us freedom from guilt and pain and it helps us move on with life in a positive way. Each of us can be our own worst enemy so we need to forgive ourselves and choose to be happy with our decisions and the rest of our lives.
Each of us needs to follow our own path. There is a certain path that everyone must take for himself or herself. Following someone else’s path for our lives can lead us down a long road full of sorrows.
I pray for guidance in finding my own path and believe that my Higher Power is directing me. When we find ourselves taking a detour, we need to have the courage to stop, turn around, and get back on our own true path.
Forgiving ourselves doesn’t let us off the hook, it doesn’t justify what we have done, and it isn’t a sign of weakness. Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength, and it gives us the opportunity to become an overcomer rather than remaining a victim of our own scorn.
Love Yourself - POSTED ON: May 16, 2011
I like the way I look at a normal weight. I don’t walk past a mirror or reflective glass without taking a look and admiring my handiwork. Most of the time when I look in a mirror, my reaction is “Damn, I look good!”
I could offset that paragraph by telling you about the imperfections my body still carries. But I’m not going to. I believe in focusing on the positive. I’m not going to let the “flaws” negate the positive traits. I love my body just the way it is, the way it was, and the way it is will be.
I am no longer waiting for perfection that will never arrive before I decide I can love myself. If I could give one piece of advice toward the goal of accepting your body, it would be to let go of the idea of Perfection.
Let go of the idea that there is something wrong with you. Let go of the notion that if you could look just a little better, you would be able to love yourself. Realize that self acceptance is a choice completely independent of your physical appearance. Realize that Perfection does not exist.
It has always been my choice what food I eat and how much. It has always been my choices that created the shape of my body. I have to choose to eat the right amount, not too much and not too little. The hardest part of learning this was admitting to myself that all the mistakes I had made were choices I made. It would be really easy to place blame on outside factors, but that would be false.
I can’t control the circumstances of my life or the actions and words of others. I can only control my reactions. I accept that many negative things that have gone on in my life have been due to my own choices. At the same time, I forgive myself. This comes back to not expecting myself to be perfect.
There is a huge difference between accepting responsibility and placing blame. Yes, I’ve dealt with some difficult situations in my life in less-than-healthy ways. But it was not the difficult situations that caused this. It was my own choices in how I dealt with them. By saying this I am not saying that everything is my fault. I am only acknowledging that it is my choice to make changes.
It really is 99% mental. Is losing weight or maintaining weight loss really difficult? Yes.
But the actions to take are pretty straight forward. Eat less. Move more. Everybody knows it. Deciding to do it, believing you deserve it, sticking with it… those are the hard parts. Not because we don’t know how, but because we have so many mental and emotional barriers in our way. We can love ourselves and still desire to change our body size. Let’s be mentally kind to ourselves while we deal with changing the behaviors that determine our body size.
Making Mistakes - POSTED ON: May 15, 2011
We all make mistakes. It is simply a part of every life. This lifestyle change that we are involved in is not easy. Anything of real value never is.
Success requires hard work, dedication and sacrifice. It's a lot more than counting calories, fat or carbs. It means there are days you look in the mirror and you tell yourself that unless you alter some of your behavior, you are not going to be the success you hope to be.
I know, I am there. I am learning, I am moving forward, even on the days that I feel like giving up.
We live in a world that suggests "magic" and "easy" at every twist and turn. We have come to believe that if we simply buy a potion or pill, subscribe to a web-site and buy a video, health and happiness instantly occurs. But truly, it's very hard work and sometimes it’s hard work I don't enjoy.
A half-cup of plain 0% Fage yogurt gets me to my goal quicker than several cookies, but I don't always want the yogurt. I have to talk myself out of poor choices daily. But when I make the right choice I am acknowledging that my goals have value.
I deserve success just as much as anyone else does. I have to work for it, sacrifice for it. We are not called to be perfect; we are called to put forth our best effort every day. It's not always glamorous. Most days it's putting one foot in front of the other and walking the walk.
Small Efforts - Setting Goals - POSTED ON: May 14, 2011
Here are 4 Core Elements to consider when Setting Goals:
Make sure your goals stand up to the following tests:
Are they realistic, specific and measurable, and do you have a back-up plan for when things don't go as expected?
Realistic
The goals you set have to be real in the context of your life. They cannot be based on some ideal version of your real situation and more importantly don't base them on some change you are ‘going' to make that will give you more time. Set your first goals according to what your life looks like right now! Look for changes that you can insert into your current schedule. If you are too busy to cook--then don't plan to cook at home every day. Start by finding healthy calorie controlled prepared foods that don't take a lot of time to prepare.
Specific
Make each goal very specific. Make sure that both the steps to achieving it and that the results are readily observable so there is no guesswork or grey in your ability to know what to do. As an exanple: “Today I will weigh and measure the kind and amounts of food I eat and immediately enter every bit of it into my computer food journal.”
Measurable
In the example I just gave. it is easy to measure the extent to which you completed the goal.
Back-Up Plan
Once you have set out some realistic, specific and measurable goals you need to set up a second set that mirror these goals but are a little more forgiving. These are useful when the unexpected happens. So for example, sometimes the unexpected occurs. For these occasions, instead of doing nothing (which feels like failure and can trigger a bigger slide) simply carefully note the kind and amounts of food eaten, jot that estimated information down and then enter it in your computer food journal later.
While this is less than ideal it IS still part of "the plan" and thus will have you feeling psychologically that you succeeded whereas skipping altogether would feel like failure.
Mar 01, 2021 DietHobby: A Digital Scrapbook. 2000+ Blogs and 500+ Videos in DietHobby reflect my personal experience in weight-loss and maintenance. One-size-doesn't-fit-all, and I address many ways-of-eating whenever they become interesting or applicable to me.
Jun 01, 2020 DietHobby is my Personal Blog Website. DietHobby sells nothing; posts no advertisements; accepts no contributions. It does not recommend or endorse any specific diets, ways-of-eating, lifestyles, supplements, foods, products, activities, or memberships.
May 01, 2017 DietHobby is Mobile-Friendly. Technical changes! It is now easier to view DietHobby on iPhones and other mobile devices.