What Do You Want? - POSTED ON: Dec 01, 2018
Trying to motivate yourself is a pointless endeavor.
You want what you want whether or not you think you can have it, and you don’t want what you don’t want whether or not you think you should want it. Trying to “get motivated” is a side-issue that only diverts our attention from the main question.
Feelings are a fundamental and unavoidable part of why humans do what they do. We can’t ignore our emotions. Because of the way our brains are structured, when thoughts and feelings compete, feelings almost always win. Research shows that fighting our feelings just makes them stronger.
Motivation comes from inside us. Either we want to do something or we don’t. If we want to do it, we are already motivated. If we don’t want to do it, then why would we?
We are often told to make a list of our Goals.
But most of the things that wind up on that list aren’t ACTUALLY Goals at all.
For example, many people would say they have a goal of making money, but really their goal is the feeling of security and comfort that comes from making more money. So making more money is actually the STRATEGY, not the goal.
Or take a more personal goal, like being in a serious relationship and/or getting married. Again, this is a STRATEGY. Their goal might be to feel a deep connection, and have emotional security. Having a long-term relationship is a STRATEGY to get them closer to those goals.
In the same way, a goal of becoming Thin is also a STRATEGY. Most likely, the actual goal involves feelings about health, appearance, or relationships.
A goal is the Feeling you ultimately want from the thing you’re seeking. Ask yourself, “How will I feel when this happens?” The answer to that question is your goal.
A strategy, then, is the path required to get there.
When you’re clear on the difference between your goals and strategies, you’ll be more in touch with the big-picture purpose of what you’re actually striving for. Many people keep pushing toward goals that they’ve set for themselves, and then don’t understand why achieving them doesn’t make them satisfied or happy. Redefining your goals according to how you want to FEEL is a good solution for this problem.
Go to your list of goals, and consider each goal according to this definition.
Rewrite your goal so that it evokes a feeling, not just an action step or something you hope will happen.
A goal is a broad primary outcome.
A strategy is the approach you take to achieve a goal.
An objective is a measurable step you take to achieve a strategy.
A tactic is a tool you use
in pursuing an objective associated with a strategy.
What do I Really Want?
So, I asked myself this question, and I came up with these answers.
A broad primary outcome
Four Things That I Really Want
A plan of action designed to achieve an overall aim.
Lose weight until I get down inside my ideal weight maintenance range,
and then maintain my weight inside it.
A measurable step to achieve a strategy
I will eat only the amounts of food that will allow my body to get and stay inside my ideal weight maintenance range.
A tool used to pursue an objective associated with a strategy.
Originally posted on June 1, 2017; Bumped up for new viewers.
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