Learning to love ourselves as we are
is important for our mental peace,
and often helps us move forward successfully in life.

Body image is what one believes
about their physical appearance,
and how one feels about their body.

When body image is healthy, it is positive,
appreciative and reasonably accurate.
Negative body image involves inaccurate self-perception,
shame and negative self-judgment.

So what can one do to improve one’s own body image?
The diet and fitness world has many suggestions.
Some of these were helpful to me,
and some were personally unhelpful.

While I was obese, I implemented many suggestions that I found personally helpful
and found that, indeed, doing this did improve my own body image.

I’ve spent a lifetime yo-yo dieting,
with a lifetime high weight of 271,
so I’ve been up and down, fat and less-fat many times.
This created many appearance problems, temporary and permanent.
 I’ve been maintaining a normal weight for almost 7 years now,
and despite the fact that my body does indeed have many flaws,
I feel very good about it, and I feel I have a very positive body image.

One of the things I found helpful …starting while I was still fat….
was to surround myself with large and full-length mirrors.
and look at myself frequently. I did it fat, and I do it now.
I found this to be an extremely valuable tool in my quest
to improve my own body image.

I put a full-length mirror on the door at the end of my hallway,
where I see myself anytime I travel toward the bedrooms.
I have another on the side hallway wall where it intersects with my kitchen,
so that I see myself when I enter the hallway.
I have mirrored sliding closet doors in my bedroom;
other large mirrors in my path toward my bathroom;
and large counter-top-to-light-fixtures mirrors in my bathroom.

 I look at myself in the mirror inside my own home wherever I go.
This has an added side effect in that it causes me keep myself well-groomed
and dressed attractively, even if I’m not going to see another person
all day long, because that is the reflection that I prefer to see in the mirror.

Every day I dress in comfortable clothing that compliments my figure,
clothing that covers flaws and is styled to be flattering to my body type.
I do this because that’s the image of myself that I like to see.
I do this for me…starting when I was morbidly obese,
through the present time… at normal weight.

Every day, when totally unclothed and alone in the highly lit bathroom,
I look at my body in the mirror, and see the reality of what is there, both good and bad.

As a part of this experience, on a daily basis,
while I acknowledge the negative aspects of my body,
I focus on the positive aspects of my body.
There is no substitute for positive self-talk, for gratitude, and positive thinking.

Rather than judging my physical shape or size, I consider 
what my body does for me, and why I am fortunate to have it.
I see the fat deposits, loose skin, wrinkles,
but I also see attractive skin color, my feminine body shape,
and the other aspects of my body that I find attractive.
When I find myself involved in negative self-talk, I counteract those thoughts
by telling myselfpositive truths about my body. I remind myself of all the things
about my own body that I am grateful for.

These things are individual to each of us, but as an example,
…whether I am fat or thin…
I am grateful for my “petite” build; for my small wrists and small ankles;
for my relatively small waist, for my tendency toward an hourglass shape,
for the pinkness of my skin, for the shape of my relatively small breasts
and my broad hips; for my small neck and individual face and hair.
I am grateful that I can flex my hands and wiggle my fingers and toes,
that I can move my arms and legs, up, down, and around. I am grateful
that I can sit and that I can walk; that I can open and close my mouth;
that I can wiggle my nose; that I can blink my eyes; that I can nod
and shake my head.

 I take responsibility for myself ..both how I treat myself,
and how others treat me. I exercise my choice not to associate
with “friends” who place an emphasis on negative physical standards,
or judge me on my size or appearance. The people that I allow to be
in my circle of friends support me and love me for who I am.

I have chosen a husband who loves and admires me,
and yet I take responsibility of fostering his positive image of me.
He is one of my mirrors, and I see my reflection in his eyes.
 
It is my choice not to walk around in front of him totally unclothed in bright lights,
and during our romantic encounters, I choose to use low lighting and highlight
my “best” parts. For me, this practice is not due to shame, but due to my
own self-respect, and my choice to give the gift of visual pleasure
by presenting myself in the best light possible to my loved one.

This is my personal choice based on my own values and preferences.
In my opinion, most older women, even those who have never been fat,
and have always maintained a normal weight, are more attractive in modest dress.
Movies show that even Jane Fonda looks better...at present...with her upper arms covered.

I believe that the above-mentioned behaviors have helped me 
develop a very positive body image, and that they can be helpful to others.
My body is an valuable asset to me whether I’m fat or thin.
It carries the marks of time as a testimony of my life experiences.

Despite the propaganda of the modern media, …although I have the right
to choose to attempt to surgically alter my body’s appearance,…
it is acceptable…and even a good thing...to be and to look old.
I don’t need to look younger or thinner, or more fit.
I have no duty to surgically alter any part of my body and suffer
physical pain in an attempt to look younger or more shapely to others.

 I am alive, and have been living for quite some time.
I’ve been fat, and I’ve been normal weight.
This is simply a fact of my life, like my height and my age.
I like my height. I am happy to be my age.
I like being normal weight.

  I like how my body looks and feels at normal weight, and
….even thought I have the same greed for excess food that I’ve always had...
I choose to work very hard every day to make certain
that my behavior with food keeps me at a normal weight.
This is what I do at DietHobby. It is why I’m here.

Hunger is a need for food.

Appetite is an interest in food.

Cravings is a desire for specific foods.

For those of us who have difficulty controlling our food-intake,
it is important to stop and examine why we want to eat something.

Hunger is a signal from the body that it needs food for energy.

Our stomachs and brains will provide cutes that tell us to eat.

Signals from the stomach could be growling, an empty,
hollow feeling, or hunger pangs.

The brain’s signals can be a headache, trouble concentrating,
irritability or fogginess

Some people experience physical fatigue.

Hunger doesn’t go away over time. It only gets worse.  
...(An exception exists when you are several days into a water fast.)...

Any food will satisfy hunger and take the hunger signals away.

Appetite is not the same thing as hunger. It actually refers to an interest in food.

Cravings are very different than hunger, but are very similar to appetite.

To crave means “to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly”.

Usually the foods one craves are not a necessity, and don’t serve
a life-sustaining need.

Cravings, unlike hunger signals, will change over time,
even over a period of 10 minutes. They are usually triggered
by emotions like stress, boredom, sadness, etc.

Unlike hunger, where any food will quell the sensation,
only one specific food will satisfy a craving.

Hunger, Appetite and Cravings are all a normal part of eating,
and have a place in a healthy diet. However, we need to learn to satisfy outselves
in a controlled manner to keep from overeating, especially since the majority
of the foods we crave are high in sugar, salt, fat, or some combination of the three.
Those of us who have difficulties with our weight need to work to make conscious decisions.

Some people find a “Hunger Scale” (such as the one below)
useful to assess their hunger levels.

Hunger Level Sensations and Symptoms
1 Starving, weak, dizzy
2 Very hungry, cranky, low energy, a lot of stomach growling
3 Pretty hungry, stomach is growling a little
4 Starting to feel a little hungry
5 Satisfied, neither hungry nor full
6 A little full, pleasantly full
7 A little uncomfortable
8 Feeling stuffed
9 Very uncomfortable, stomach hurts
10 So full you feel sick

I think the ideal weight-loss or maintenance eating goal would be to acheive Number 5 at mealtimes.
IF one is eating in response to body signals,...rather than specific mealtime schedules...
one would eat when feeling a Number 2 or 3 hunger level... but only eat until one is Satisfied,
and no longer Hungry, but not actually Full.  

I've always found assessing and responding to hunger levels to be an extremely challenging task,
and personally, I tend to fail at it far more often than I succeed.  That is one of the main reasons 
for my personal choice to record all my daily food intake, and count my calories.

 

The old saying is "Live and Learn",
but somewhere in my brain, there must be a disconnect,
that causes me to be "slow" when it comes to learning not to repeat
my mistakes involving food-intake. 

Frankly, Stupid, IS the word that accurately describes this mal-function.

I've chosen to make the same food mistakes in
the 50's, the 60's, the 70's, the 80's, the 90's, the 2000's,
and on occasion I find myself still doing it in the 2010's

I give myself a break for my behavior in the 40's,
because I choose not to hold myself responsible
for my overeating errors when I was a very young child.

I don't point this out to be negative.
It is just a fact of my life that I have learned to accept.
However, Acceptance of that truth
doesn't keep me from working to change my behavior.

A common behavior is to alternate between
being “good” at sticking to our chosen eating plan,
and being “bad” when one slips.

This can be a frustrating cycle for most of us,
especially when we consider how labeling our “badness”
with regards to our food behaviors creates a self-defeating attitude.

A change in our self-talk and thought will help us
change our attitudes about our eating, our bodies, and our weights,
which will help us to change our behavior.

In terms of weight-loss, our behavior is often an indication
of how we feel inside, which becomes reflected in how
we appear on the outside. When we feel good about ourselves,
we can’t help but become more attractive to others.
THIS is the Ultimate Goal…
to feel better about ourselves inside,
so that our bodies and our personalities will reflect confidence and light to others.

A few things I’ve found to be helpful are:

Be Supportive, Not Critical, of yourself.

People lose weight at different rates.
Weight may drop off quickly at first and then plateau,
or vice versa. One’s body composition may change,
even though their weight stays the same.

The important thing to keep in mind is that
long-term, consistent, and appropriate eating behavior
will bring positive results. Hard work will ultimately pay off.

Reward your Behavior, and not your Weight

People are used to rewarding themselves,
and being rewarded by others for losing pounds,
rather than for changing their behaviors.

However, it is far better not to judge one’s progress
by one’s weight…which is a RESULT of behavior,
but to focus on acknowledging to oneself
that during the week, or the day, or the hour….
one has successfully engaged in BEHAVIORS
which will be rewarded ultimately, at some unknown future time.

 Remember, our thoughts are what guide us to action,
whether they are positive or negative.

If we are self-depreciating in thought,
our behaviors will be unproductive,
and we will become discouraged easily.

On the other hand, if we acknowledge small accomplishments,
like more positive self-talk, increased activity, making
better food intake choices, then our behaviors will reflect that.

We will be more encouraged to exercise,
find it easier to resist food temptations,
and gain self-esteem…not BECAUSE of weight-loss,
but because we are choosing to manage our lives and our bodies
in a responsible way that is worthy of praise.
The Weight loss that follows is a side effect of our Behavior. 

Do exactly what you can do, no more and no less.
Do not judge yourself if you falter on this journey
because it is about progress, not perfection.
And most importantly, never judge yourself against others.

Each of us are unique individuals going on a very personal journey.
We can support, inspire, and motivate each other along the way,
but in the end this is a very personal experience.

So be kind to yourself.

  I am pleased to be able to report to you
that I am making progress with the recovery of my wrist and hand,
and yesterday I was able to make another new cooking video: Chocolate Milkshake
You can find it at DietHobby in the RECIPE section under Sweet Tastes,
although it could also be used as a Mini-Meal.