There are many things in life that we can’t control,
but within each individual life,
there are other things that we do have control over.

Setting goals helps us take control of our lives.
It gives us a map to show us where we want to go,
instead of letting life just happen by accident.

Individually, we need to find out what our values really are,
so we can decide which goals we want to pursue
and what direction to aim our lives.

 Goals should be:

Positive.
State goals in positive rather than negative terms.
(like: “I am an organized person: instead of “I am not disorganized”
or “I eat 3 meals and nothing in between”, rather than “I don’t eat snacks”)

Present Tense.
State goals as though they are being realized right now,
or have already been attained. The subconscious mind operates in the present.
If we create goals in the future tense, our subconscious will never get there.

Personal:
Goals have to be about you, and under your control,
not about someone else.

Precise:
Goals should be realistic.
Achieving them must be within the realm of possibility.

Powerful.
Use words that convey action and emotion.

  Visualize success.
See yourself achieving your goal.
Picturing a positive outcome is helpful.
If we can see ourselves attaining a goal, we very likely will.
However, if we can’t muster up any image of success,
we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something all of us do every day.
When we daydream, or think about someone we know,
or remember a place we visited, we are visualizing.
We can use this technique to help us achieve our goals
by seeing ourselves achieving them.

Now that I have about 80% recovery of my broken wrist,
I have begun regularly adding weekly recipe videos to DietHobby.
You can click the link to see my low-calorie version of Taco Salad,
which is located under RESOURCES, Mealtime here at DietHobby.

One of my forum friends recently posted the following statement:

“I have never found that allowing myself to eat whatever I want
stopped me from overeating it at some time.
Processed foods are powerful.
Even thin people overeat them, and sometimes become fat people.

That said, it is still crucial to allow those foods into my plan.
It is important to take away the emotional charge.
But the emotional charge is not the only stimulus.
However, in the right conditions--right amount of pleasure, rest, companionship--
I have them moderately and satisfyingly.”

  This has also been my own general overall experience.
Sometimes I delete specific food for specific time periods,
but eventually, I've always returned to the above-general behavior.

Will I always do that?  I don't know.
I like to always remain open to new possibilities.

Hope.
Each of us knows what it feels like.
Each of us wants to feel it.
But exactly what is it? How do we get it?

Hope is the emotional state
which promotes the belief in a positive outcome
related to events and circumstances in one's life.

It is the feeling that what we want can be had;
or that events will turn out for the best;
or that something desired may happen.

Hope comes into play when things are not going well
or at there’s considerable uncertainty about how things will turn out.
Hope opens us up, removes the blinders of fear and despair
and allows us to see the big picture,
which allows us to become creative and have belief in a better future.

 Hope is cultivated when we have a goal in mind,
determination that a goal can be reached,
and a plan on how to reach those goals.
Hopeful people are like the little engine that could,
because they keep telling themselves "I think I can, I think I can".

Hope is distinct from positive thinking,
which refers to reversing pessimism,
and the term "false hope" refers to a hope
based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.

That said...and as unlikely as it might seem...
I usually feel hopeful.

For those who are following my “Ask Grandma” videos
click to see my latest one: “You Are Stronger Than You Think”
which is located in DietHobby under RESOURCES, Videos, Ask Grandma.

Sometimes the emotion I feel is “frustration”,
and this includes a bit of anger
when I’ve been working hard toward my goals
but it just isn’t working.

All of us have times when we seem to be stuck,
and no matter how hard we try,
we don’t seem be be able to get anywhere.
Just spinning our wheels in the mud
can cause us to feel pure frustration.

Even though it feels like nothing is working,
when I look closely,  
I usually find at least something is going right.
This takes me out of the negative mindset of “it’s hopeless”
and gets me back to focusing on the positive.

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in a problem
and in trying to solve it that we forget
what we were originally trying to accomplish.
This is true for me regarding my current seeming inability to lose more weight,
after all, my goal is maintenance of my large weight-loss,
and I’m doing quite well at that.

 We always have options.

When we are really frustrated with a problem,
we tend not to want to work on it anymore.
It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and we’re not getting anywhere.
So we would rather just avoid it.
But, like Thomas Edison said,
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.”

When we get stuck on focusing on what we don’t want to happen,
or afraid of the absolute worst thing that could happen,
it’s good to copy those atheletes who imagine themselves
competing flawlessly over and over again.
We can choose to see ourselves achieving what we want.
Visualize it and really feel it to inspire ourselves to keep moving forwards.

 Often things aren’t as bad as they look at first.
Sometimes they seem much worse just because we’re tired or mentally drained.
Taking a break and remembering to keep a sense of humor can help.
The time of frustration will pass, and a positive mind
is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one
that keeps thinking that it’s “hopeless” and “what’s the use?”
A closed mind won’t be able to see the possible solutions
when they do come along, so it’s important to stay positive.

With weight problems, just like with all other problems,
the solution is to figure out what your options are;
decide on a plan; focus; and then take action.

  Will my body lose back down to my lowest point in maintenance?
I don’t know, but I do know that while trying to do that,
I’ve not gained additional weight,
and that is a total plus.