I’ve learned through my lifetime of relationships
that some things are best left unsaid.
Every Thought doesn’t need to be expressed.

Consistent courtesy and kindness are invaluable,
both verbal and nonverbal,
and this is true whether they are given or received

Just like words, facial expressions can be hurtful.
I feel better about life, myself and others
when the facial expressions of the people around me are positive.

Smiling tends to produce positive responses from others,
and the act of smiling also makes me feel a bit better.
Sour, angry, bitter or hateful facial expressions
tend to bring me down, even when these are on my own face.

It takes work to develop a consistently positive mental attitude.
It is also necessary to work on how we express our thoughts to others.
While our facial expressions sometimes tend to be reflections of our thoughts,
one part of our ability to control our own Behavior includes the way we choose
to express our thoughts to others...both verbally, and non-verbally. 

                   
Over the past seven years
I’ve spent quite a bit of time online
at various weight-loss sites and forums.

I developed my special favorites,
and I’ve posted links to a few of them
here at DietHobby under RESOURCES, Links.

Participating in an ongoing Blog or Forum can be enlightening,
As I read the comments of others, I learn about myself.

I become aware of the ways I am similar and different
from the person posting, and gain insight about my own behavior.

I find that my own attitude greatly determines whether or not
I find pleasure in ANY of the things I choose to do,
and I feel grateful for the ability to influence it,
by purposely directing my thoughts toward the positives.

 I like watching people succeed,
and I enjoy sharing in their happiness.

Sometimes I also learn a great deal from watching people
whose behavior and manner of thinking actually feels annoying to me.
I find something admirable in a person who consistently shares
by posting their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors,
even when this allows an outside eye to clearly identify
their failures, denial, and unusual ways of thinking.

I find great value in the work of changing myself.
I need to adapt and learn to adjust to the circumstances surrounding me
in order to accept the frequent changes which are necessarily involved in living.

There is so much information now at my fingertips.
Most of my life was spent before individual computers existed.
Books have always been my friends.
but computers and online communication add a great deal to my life.
I feel grateful that this opportunity exists in the dawn of my old age.

Life’s events and experiences are like the weather.
They come and go,
…no matter what my preference…
so I might as well decide to enjoy them.

There us a time for every purpose under heaven
each season brings its own unique blessings
Using our power of gratitude can change our lives.
We can choose to give Thanks.

Seeing a beautiful object or person fulfills the senses.
That is beauty on the outside.

It is a pleasant experience when the senses are stimulated.
But what is the essence of this pleasure, and how long lasting?

What if the beautiful person one sees is heartless and insensitive?
What if they lack character or dignity?
Would that outer beauty suffice?
Looking at a beautiful person merely gives pleasure.

There is also a beauty that is magnetic and uplifts the soul.
such as when one sees the inner beauty of a person.
Beauty is one of the utmost quests of Humanity.
Many people are under the notion that this quest has to do with appearances.
 One sees a shapely woman with flawless skin and impeccable features.
And they think that’s what it’s all about.
But substantial beauty is often intangible.
It is beauty of the character, of the heart and of the soul.

It is easy to sometimes get impatient,
and be only attracted to something that is immediately seen.
To seek only the Material, something that can be grasped or touched.
But what is Material is temporal and passing.
And that which is invisible to the eyes is more lasting.

I like the way I look at a normal weight.
I don’t walk past a mirror or reflective glass
without taking a look and admiring my handiwork.
Most of the time when I look in a mirror, 
my reaction is “Damn, I look good!”

I could offset that paragraph by telling you
about the imperfections my body still carries.
But I’m not going to.
I believe in focusing on the positive.
I’m not going to let the “flaws” negate the positive traits. 
 I love my body just the way it is, the way it was,
and the way it is will be.

I am no longer waiting for perfection that will never arrive
before I decide I can love myself.
If I could give one piece of advice
toward the goal of accepting your body,
it would be to let go of the idea of Perfection.

Let go of the idea that there is something wrong with you.
Let go of the notion that if you could look just a little better,
you would be able to love yourself.
Realize that self acceptance is a choice completely independent
of your physical appearance.
Realize that Perfection does not exist.

It has always been my choice what food I eat and how much.
It has always been my choices that created the shape of my body.
I have to choose to eat the right amount, not too much and not too little.
The hardest part of learning this was admitting to myself
that all the mistakes I had made were choices I made.
It would be really easy to place blame on outside factors,
but that would be false.

 I can’t control the circumstances of my life
or the actions and words of others.
I can only control my reactions.
I accept that many negative things that have gone on in my life
have been due to my own choices. At the same time, I forgive myself.
This comes back to not expecting myself to be perfect.

There is a huge difference between accepting responsibility and placing blame.
Yes, I’ve dealt with some difficult situations in my life in less-than-healthy ways.
But it was not the difficult situations that caused this.
It was my own choices in how I dealt with them.
By saying this I am not saying that everything is my fault.
I am only acknowledging that it is my choice to make changes.

It really is 99% mental.
Is losing weight or maintaining weight loss really difficult?
Yes.

But the actions to take are pretty straight forward.
Eat less. Move more. Everybody knows it.
Deciding to do it, believing you deserve it,
sticking with it… those are the hard parts.
Not because we don’t know how, but because we have
so many mental and emotional barriers in our way.
 We can love ourselves
and still desire to change our body size.
Let’s be mentally kind to ourselves while we deal
with changing the behaviors that determine our body size.